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The Colbert Report/Episode/504
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * the adulation blew the pen right out of Dr. Colbert's hand * very toasty in New York * another American institution going under ** secret prison program *** as American as pie--if someone's genitals were baked in a pie * closing prisons is symbolic * from inside the C Desk Dr. Colbert hit grabbed the clicker for the secret prison door (which is under the C Desk) thus releasing Omar * he is on the honor system to waterboard himself once a day * it was a long, hard goodbye * Omar realizes he is guilty of one thing ** missing Stephen * Omar is not Arab, he's Greek ** he pronounces "Homer" *** he used to work at Parthenon Kebob's Shoppe, and said Stephen still owed $15.70, which was paid in full (plus tip!) Science's Rightful Place * Science's Rightful Place is to make new parts for Dick Cheney * Bush challenged to take us to Mars, funded with only a Discovery Store gift certificate * Obama named a physicist to run the Energy Department * Chris Mooney ** book: "The Republican War on Science " * scientists won the war * accused Bush of undermining science * the media trips people up sometimes * science gave us string in packing tape * chief driver of economic growth ** technology, not science * there are stem cells in Stephen's iPhone * tax and spend our way to knowledge * Obama promoted his Science Advisor * science and policy intersect * no monkey business (evolution) SEGMENT3 * Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone ** get in line behind Stephen * Tip- Roe v Wade ** divided the country ** like the Civil War, but no re-enactors ** about which way to cross a river * Wag- Indian Wedding Rituals ** 2 girls married frogs, Amphibisexual ** increase genital tadpoles * Tip- John Yarmuth, representative from Kentucky's third district (the Fightin' Third!) ** sent Dr. Colbert a specially designed Christmas card *** showing him holding a long-haired cat and standing next to a woodchipper, with the words "Hoping you have a Kittenless Christmas this Year!" printed on it ** tip for walking the walk ** when opening the envelope, Dr. Colbert's unnamed assistant said confetti fell out *** Confetti was the name of the cat in the photo Interview * Ed Young ** book (with Beth Moore): "10 Commandments of Marriage" * pastor who wants married couples to have more sex ** what it means when one joins the 700 Club * Fellowship Church ** in Dallas-Fort Worth and Miami * seven days of sex ** in a row ** even God rested on the seventh day * none of the congregants got it on immediately following his announcement * took the ladies three days to warm up to the idea * help your marriage * he calls it a sexperiment * he is called the Sex Preacher * doesn't use code words ** wicky-wicky and the nanu-nanu neenaw * no names for sex positions ** the "lion lays down with the lamb" * show him the sex life of a married couple ** he'll show you the temperature of that marriage *** Stephen would rather not Epilogue * Dr. Colbert reminds The Heroes, if anyone was offended by anything on the program, call 1-877-SEAN-930 and let Stephen have it, stuff you can never take back! Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *LinkTitle *LinkTitle Reviews and Comments